A Book for Me

Yesterday was a tough day. As much as I adore my kids, I sometimes just have days when it just becomes too much, you know what I mean? Before becoming a mother, I never realized how hard it would be to literally put your life at the mercy of someone else's schedule. It is so draining to me not to have control over my life, or at least the kind of control I was used to pre-kids. Want to watch a show on TV? Sit down, get 5 minutes into it, oops! the baby's crying! Want to eat lunch? Get halfway through making it, oops! Riley's dumping yogurt on the table, don't get back to finishing it until half an hour later. Sit down to eat the lunch that took half an hour to make, oops! baby's crying again! Try to do something on the computer, oops! Riley is climbing on the table....

Anyway, you get the picture. We all have those kinds of days, and any of you who are mothers yourselves know exactly what I'm talking about! But the purpose of this wasn't to turn into a self-pity-fest about the trials of motherhood. I just wanted to set the stage for what prompted this piece I did last night, at 11:00, after the kids were finally asleep! I've talked before about wanting to start a journal for myself. Lately, the only artwork I do is in the kids' books or for trades/sale/etc. Other than my birthday piece, I haven't done much "me-centered" art for a while. And while I don't think every piece I do needs to be about myself, the main reason I do art is to keep a "journal" and to document my life. This is therapeutic for me, and I think it will be a treasure for my family in the future.

So last night I decided to finally begin a "me" journal, and here's the first piece. It's sort of a visual of me bearing a lot of weight on my shoulders, the weight being comprised of "kid stuff", thus the images of the little animals piled atop of each other. It reads, "Sometimes it's just more than I can handle." It was freeing to do it, especially after a hard day. I know there will also be more positive pieces in the journal in the future, but this was reflective of my mood last night. If I were to do a piece today, it would be much different, since the kids are doing wonderfully today!

Thanks everyone for the continued well wishes about my grandmother, and also the concern for Riley's broken clavicle. We are all doing great, and we'll find out this week whether Riley's bone has grown back together or not!