Monday, July 23, 2007

A Book for Me

Yesterday was a tough day. As much as I adore my kids, I sometimes just have days when it just becomes too much, you know what I mean? Before becoming a mother, I never realized how hard it would be to literally put your life at the mercy of someone else's schedule. It is so draining to me not to have control over my life, or at least the kind of control I was used to pre-kids. Want to watch a show on TV? Sit down, get 5 minutes into it, oops! the baby's crying! Want to eat lunch? Get halfway through making it, oops! Riley's dumping yogurt on the table, don't get back to finishing it until half an hour later. Sit down to eat the lunch that took half an hour to make, oops! baby's crying again! Try to do something on the computer, oops! Riley is climbing on the table....

Anyway, you get the picture. We all have those kinds of days, and any of you who are mothers yourselves know exactly what I'm talking about! But the purpose of this wasn't to turn into a self-pity-fest about the trials of motherhood. I just wanted to set the stage for what prompted this piece I did last night, at 11:00, after the kids were finally asleep! I've talked before about wanting to start a journal for myself. Lately, the only artwork I do is in the kids' books or for trades/sale/etc. Other than my birthday piece, I haven't done much "me-centered" art for a while. And while I don't think every piece I do needs to be about myself, the main reason I do art is to keep a "journal" and to document my life. This is therapeutic for me, and I think it will be a treasure for my family in the future.

So last night I decided to finally begin a "me" journal, and here's the first piece. It's sort of a visual of me bearing a lot of weight on my shoulders, the weight being comprised of "kid stuff", thus the images of the little animals piled atop of each other. It reads, "Sometimes it's just more than I can handle." It was freeing to do it, especially after a hard day. I know there will also be more positive pieces in the journal in the future, but this was reflective of my mood last night. If I were to do a piece today, it would be much different, since the kids are doing wonderfully today!

Thanks everyone for the continued well wishes about my grandmother, and also the concern for Riley's broken clavicle. We are all doing great, and we'll find out this week whether Riley's bone has grown back together or not!

16 comments:

Sweet Petunia said...

Well you are in the thick of it right now, but know that it gets easier very fast. Mine our now 5 & 10 and I stare at them when we are out to a restaurant and wonder when did this happen? They are easy easy easy easy! You can sit them down with crayons or a book and they can entertain themselves or each other. I think all moms have those moments of total chaos, but they are short. All worth it when you hear that "Mommy I love you!"

Jamie said...

I am where you are right now too! It has been easier as time goes on, but being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever had the good fortune to undertake. I haven't always handled it as well as I think others do. I felt like I sort of disappeared for a while (about 5 years) and only now am I getting some "me" back:) Hang in there sweetie! Journaling is an awesome outlet! I wish I had done it earlier. Waiting for a positive update on sweet boy's clavicle! Love, Jamie

monique(moki) said...

wow! What a cool piece! And I hear you too! Wanting so bad to be the perfect mom, but falling short (on temper) so many days ;)

Tonia said...

This is such a great piece (but your post does give me pause about entering into that world myself!). This piece is so strong and it's easy to see how you feel. I'm glad not all days are like that! (Sheesh) I can't wait to see more of your "me" pieces!!! It's nice to see that side of you.

lindaharre said...

OMG it is wonderful and says it all!!!!!

sharon (glitterangel) said...

Absolutely gorgeous work, and how many of us know exactly where you're coming from?!

Tara Ross Studios said...

I can so relate as you know. For me I never had a break. It is really hard. There were many countless nights of doing art after 11:00pm.

donnaj said...

A "me" journal is just that-the good and the bad-your kids will appreciate it when they are older and see the real you-not just the good stuff~
lovely work

ArtsyMama said...

I SO know what you mean. The art work that you created after such a draining day is absolutely stunning. I love it. So glad you started a journal for yourself. Can't wait to see more!!!
Take care.
Kari

Judy said...

Great post - I so love honesty.
Great piece - you have the wonderful talent of being able to define what you are feeling and translating that into an excellent conceptual piece. I really like the way the the load is on your shoulders- at least that was my take on your piece.

debra cooper said...

You just described what I am soooo afraid of! My husband wants to have another baby, but our kids (6 and 4 yrs) are just getting to the point that I finally have some freedom again! It is such a hard time, and so worth it in the end, but so hard to start all over again.

Stash said...

Wow Corey, I love that piece - how universal and scary for those who haven't yet entered the fray of children. Having just taken my daughter on what should have been a relaxing vacation to celebrate our 15 year anniversary, I can totally relate. I kept asking my husband "are we there yet?" (as in, have we managed to acheive real relaxation?) I could go on but then I'd have to admit that I should be writing a flip-side to my current blog and I'm not prepared to go there ;-)

www.stashstudios.com

Joy for the Journey said...

Corey, I can relate! Sometimes I just tell myself that one day the house will be empty and I'll be sad and lonely, longing for them to come spend 5 minutes with me!

You, and other artists like you, have been such an inspiration to me thta I decided to start my owm blog! I can't believe it since I am not a tech person, but...! I am Joy for the Journey at joyforthee@blogspot.com! I hope you'll stop by sometime :) Hang in there - you are sos inspiring for me, and many, many others :)
Sarah

MarilynH said...

ha ha ha...I have a whole book about this. Gorgeous piece!

Kimla Kay said...

Beautiful imagery, Corey! So glad you are starting a journal for yourself. I am amazed by you and all moms out there who find...no make time for art while raising kids. Don't know how you do it! As Oprah says, "toughest job in the world."

Tricia Scott said...

corey, isn't art so theuraputic! i love this piece-i think you perfectly show what it is like to carry the weight of so much responsibility.
what a great idea to have a book for yourself...
hugs,

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