A Shift in Thinking

Hi again, well, I'm back from Jamaica and feeling somewhat refreshed. It's funny though how easily all the same things that irritated you before a vacation still irritate you as soon as you come back. I really thought that a week away from the house and kids would renew me, and I'd come back easy-going and carefree, and that toys all over the floor wouldn't bother me a bit....think again! Oh well, if nothing else, it was a really relaxing week while I was there, and I think everyone needs that once in a while!

I haven't had a lot of art time lately, with the trip and various other naptime problems that have arisen since (since naptime is my main source of art time), but I have managed a couple pieces. I don't know if it's been apparent here, but I've been struggling a bit with my art lately. I feel like I'm on the verge of some sort of shift, but I just can't quite figure out what that shift is. My art feels stagnant lately, like I'm not pushing myself and not growing, and that bothers me. I'm very inspired by a couple different artists these days (matirose, betsy walton) for the freeness and "messiness" in their art, and I'd love to somehow move in that direction, while still being true to my own artistic vision.

I think that the first step for me is to change my thinking while I work, which I've tried to begin doing. While I always have tried to "let what happens happen" when I create, I'm going to really push myself in this way, since the artwork I like seems to come from a sort of subconscious level. Even though it sounds somewhat contradictory, I'm going to make a concerted effort to "not think" while I create, and see what comes out.

Since I've made that decision, here is what I've done:

This one sort of evolved into a piece about some of the naptime/bedtime struggles I've been dealing with with the kids. There's something about it that doesn't feel true to my own vision. I think I was trying too hard, which is exactly what I'm not supposed to be doing! But I have a feeling there will be many pieces I'm not happy with during this period of transition...

This one I've very happy with. It came about very naturally, which is what I'm striving for, and I feel like it's still "me".

And this is a spread in Riley's journal that I did this morning. I overthought it a little bit while I was working, but overall, I think I was able to let go fairly well. It's about him giving up his pacifier, which is bittersweet for me. This kid was so tied to his pacifier until about a month ago. Then one day, it developed a crack in it, and that was it! No more pacifier, by his own decision. I was just shocked that he would so easily give it up, but I guess kids work in mysterious ways! It's sort of nice that I won't have that struggle down the road, but it's just another bit of proof that he's growing up....sigh.

It's strange how all three of these have the same color palette, which was not intentional. So, there you have it- the workings of my strange artistic mind. I know that the pieces themselves may not look that different from my other work, but in my mind, I've begun a journey down a new path. We'll see where I end up!

And I wanted to say thank you to all of you who complimented me on my portraits of the boys in my last post. I love realistic painting, but it's stressful, so I just don't do it often. However, I'd love to somehow combine it with my collage at some point. Maybe that will be in the forefront as well...